Patient Presence Services
01.
Photo by Carol Valcourt
Pet memorial.
You have permission to be yourself with me…
In January of 2021, my Uncle Sam died. Not only did I plan his funeral, but I also spent a year emptying his seven-bedroom home that he shared with three of his predeceased siblings. This process was both physically and emotionally challenging. I became very curious about what I was thinking, feeling and my resulting behavior. Of course, I was grieving but also feeling sad, lonely, angry, and even resentful. The grief I was feeling was not in isolation; other losses including family members, friends and even pets came back to me.
Through my experience, I realize how many I know who are suffering with their grief in silence. I began my study in grief because I realized that grief is something we all have in common, yet it is unique to each one of us. Some of us simply want the pain to end, some of us don’t want to be reminded, some of us feel guilty if we aren’t reminded.
Grief is a unique experience for each individual and each loss. No one is doing it wrong.
I can help you in this process. If you are grieving the loss of loved ones, pets, a job, or have experienced any traumatic event, then schedule a visit. We will discuss what grief is, how to navigate through it to integrate it into your life and how to get through anniversaries and holidays. Our discussions will be tailored to your unique journey.
Renowned grief expert David Kessler says there are six needs of the grieving:
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To have your pain witnessed
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To express your feelings
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To release the burden of guilt
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To be free of old wounds
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To integrate the pain and the love
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Finding meaning after loss
I am certified through David's Grief Educator Program to be present with you through your grieving process. Hour long grief sessions can be by phone, online or in person at my office in East Brookfield, MA.
My goal is to create a safe space for you to express your feelings surrounding your loss. You may feel lost, sad, angry, resentful, guilty, deep-seated grief or sorrow. By having your feelings witnessed, you can begin to heal. You are welcome to book a free 30-minute consultation.
"Permit grief. It is necessary."
Reverend Cordelia Wallace
Photo by Carol Valcourt
Even though we may be impacted by the same loss, we can react differently than others. No one is doing it wrong.
02.
Photo by Carol Valcourt
Display case for my Uncle Louie's bowties.
The End-of-Life (EOL) Doula's role is to ensure you and your family are prepared for your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial needs at the end of your life. The EOL Doula works with the interdisciplinary hospice team.
Scope of services:
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Companion to the dying and the dying person's loved ones. I will be a supportive presence and will "hold space" for the dying patient and their loved ones to decrease as much stress as possible.
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Suggesting interventions for comfort. I am trained on the three phases of end of life: shock, stabilization and transition. I know what to look for as a patient's condition changes and can suggest interventions to increase comfort.
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Helping to facilitate unresolved issues. I am a great listener and will create a safe space to allow for things that need to be said.
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Creating Advanced Directives. If they are not already done or need updating, I can help you create and or revise your living will and health care proxy.
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Planning the vigil. I will guide the patient and family to create a sacred space for the final days and hours of life, respecting different beliefs and requests that are unique and customized to the patient and family's wishes.
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End of Life Planning. I assist with planning wakes, funeral, eulogy, self-eulogy, celebrations of life, home wakes, green / natural burials, and or cremation. I can educate you and your family on what options are available and can provide local resources.
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Writing the Obituary.
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Creating remembrances. I can help the patient to document his/her/their meaningful life stories to leave behind for loved ones. For example, writing stories to be shared at a celebration of life, repast or collation; making recordings or videos; and creating cards to be given to family members in the future. In addition, I can assist family members who want to be creative with how they want to remember their loved one. Perhaps by planting a tree, having cremation ashes preserved in glass beads or writing a poem.
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Finding peace and acceptance. Helping the patient find meaning, peace and acceptance by recognizing their accomplishments, worth and impact.
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Supporting the patient and family at end of life and bereavement. I will guide you and your family through your vigil and post death options. In addition, I offer family bereavement services for 13 months after the patient's death.
End of Life Doula services can be in person at your home in Central Massachusetts, online or by phone.
"Despite the weight of grief; it made my life so much more beautiful.
Not that it was worth it, but it is not worthless.
This realization in the deepest way of our own finitude brings extraordinary value to life."
Rabbi Steve Leder
Photo by Carol Valcourt
The flowers in this lilac blossom are purple AND white. Two colors on the same blossom. Much like you can be devastated over your loss AND relieved that the suffering is over.
03.
It is recommended that everyone 18 years old or older have an Advance Directive. These documents should be reviewed annually to ensure they are up to date.
Currently in the US, it is estimated by Doulagivers Institute that 90% of people say talking to their family about end of life is important to them. However, only 27% have actually done it. It is also estimated that 82% of people say it is important to put their end of life wishes in writing, but only 23% have done it.
Not only is preparing for your end-of-life a tremendous gift of peace and control for yourself, but it is also a welcomed gift to your family who might otherwise have to make decisions without knowing exactly what you would want.
Care Consultants assist clients with:
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Completing a subjective Advance Directive, living will.
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Choosing the right Health Care Proxy for them.
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Developing a Living Well End of Life Plan.
Call today to schedule a group presentation: What is an Advance Directive and Why Do I Need One?